|Kidnapper:||Get in the fukin van|
|Me:||Oh ok cool|
|Me:||This is a febreze commercial right|
|Me:||Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh|
me: the chuck e cheese security guards were very physical and abusive and i can assure you that i will never return to their rat filled establishment
judge: is it true you were attempting to masturbate in the ball pit while yelling about the illuminati?
me: fuck off. next question